And while my parents offered me so many opportunities, they always made sure that I appreciated everything I got, was respectful to others, and never took anything for granted – important lessons that I believe helped me become the self-sufficient person I am today.
When I was 17, my parents separated. It was a difficult time, but I remained extremely close to them both. And, as an adult, I grew to appreciate them not only as parents, but as friends.
A few years later, my father got remarried to Gail, who I love. We have a lot in common, and have always gotten along very well. I am fortunate to have her as family, and I know she will be a terrific grandmother. Shortly after my father and Gail got married, along came my brother Michael. From the day I first saw him, we developed a very special relationship.
I grew up in New York City, in a very family-oriented neighborhood. My parents (Julianna and George) both came here from Hungary – seeking a better opportunity. I was an only child and spent a lot of time with both of my parents. My mother worked full-time to make sure that they could give me everything I needed and more. When I was young, my mother worked night shifts at a hospital, so that she could be with me during the day and my father could be with me when she had to work. It wasn’t an easy schedule for her, but she did it for me.
A top priority for my parents was making sure that I had access to a good education, and that I had the opportunity to attend the college of my choice. After that, it was my choice to continue on to get my graduate degree, which I paid for on my own (they offered to help, but I wouldn’t let them).
Both of my parents were always very loving and supportive. We spent a lot of time laughing together. They took me everywhere with them, exposing me to all of the cultural activities of New York City and even to travel. They hung in there while I tried a variety of lessons, including: years of ballet, guitar, tennis, swimming and more.
My parents...
Unfortunately, my mother passed away last year after being ill for a few years. During the time she was sick, I dedicated myself to caring for her and spending quality time with her. My number one priority was to make sure she received the best care possible, ensure her comfort, and try to help her enjoy herself as much as she could. Although it was a difficult time in my life, I will always cherish the time we had together. Because she was not just my mother – she was one of my best friends, and nothing made me happier than being able to take care of her…and to be able to give her back a small degree of the love and support she gave me all of my life. Before my mother died, she and I discussed my adopting, and she couldn’t have been more excited or supportive. I am sorry that she will never have the chance to meet her grandchild. But I will make sure that my child knows all about her and how wonderful she was.
Here I am with my Dad
Dad, Me, my brother Michael and Gail
Mom and Me
Childhood picture of Mom and me
I spent a great deal of time taking care of Michael when he was a baby. I used to take him to the playground, swimming, sports events, movies…and we had many sleepover dates. Every time he rested his little head in my neck, looked at me with his big blue eyes, or even drooled on my head as he sat on my shoulders, I knew that this was a special relationship.
Now, our relationship has become one of mutual respect as I look up at my 6’1” baby brother, and can’t believe I ever put those big old feet in my mouth!
My family
My Brother...
When I told Michael I was adopting, he was thrilled and very supportive. I asked what he thought, and he gave me two pieces of advice:
-First, always be honest about the fact that my son or daughter was adopted (we were always honest with him)
-Second, always be willing to listen and answer questions
I take this advice to heart. I will always tell my child that the reason he or she is adopted is because there were people who loved him/her very much:
-the birthmother who cared so much that her number one priority was to find her child a loving home with the opportunity to have a wonderful future
-myself, who searched for him/her and wanted to share all of my love
-his/her extended family and close friends who eagerly awaited his/her arrival
Me with my brother Michael when he was a baby
Me and Michael on a famiy trip
Recent picture of me and my brother!
Gail and Dad-future grandparents
Michael as a baby on my shoulders
